Anxieties

34. Anxieties

Sam looked nervous. I knew he was thinking about Margaret. Margaret was a resourceful person. She could take care of herself. I didn’t like women like that. They always underestimate danger and overestimate their abilities. Too damn independent.

“Why don’t you call, Margaret?” We’d been watching the Miami Inn now for a couple of hours. Our boys were probably asleep already, but I knew Sam wouldn’t call off the stakeout. Once a plan of operations had been decided upon, Sam would not give it up.

“She’ll be home by now,” Sam said.

Ever since I’d known Sam, I’d never seen him doubt Margaret. A cop had to trust his wife. He couldn’t worry about her and keep himself out of danger’s eyes. You had to stay focused. That was my problem with Edna. She was always in a state of panic about something.

“Give her a call anyway, Sam. A night like this deserves a phone call.”

Sam nodded. He took out his cell phone. I kept an eye on the motel. A white van passed between us and the motel heading east along Lakeshore. What the hell is he out on a night like this for?

“Any luck?”

“Margaret isn’t home,” Sam said matter-of-factly. We waited. I don’t how much time passed. It was hard to tell with all this snow. It was as if we were caught in the moment, like no time was passing at all. I looked down at my watch. Another hour had passed.

“You want to leave?”

Sam shook his head. Sam started to phone again.

“We’d better stay here, Wendel. I’ve got a funny feeling in my stomach.”

Sam phoned the hospital. He started to give out Margaret’s name. When he closed his phone I could tell that Margaret was not at the hospital. Then he made another phone call.

“Why don’t you phone the restaurant?” I suggested.

Sam put the phone in his pocket. “Just did. The line is busy.”

I looked at my watch. The restaurant should have been closed by now. Margaret should have left. Sam didn’t say anything. He stared across the street at the motel.

“I’ll phone later. Margaret’s probably calling for a cab.”

We slouched down in our seats, trying to get comfortable and waited. Time passed. I couldn’t stand the silence. I needed to talk. Words were like an engine that kept time moving. “I don’t know what to do about Edna, Sam. I think I could get full custody of the kids, her turning into a lush. But it makes me feel guilty. It might put her right over the edge. She’s never done anything but be a mother. Never had a full time job. Doesn’t have any skills. I wanted her to stay home. My mom worked her ass off when we were kids. I didn’t want my kids to come home after school to an empty house.”

“I thought she had a job.”

“If you call working at Brennan’s a job.”

“She could go back to school, Wendel.”

“Never finished high school. Edna was a real social butterfly as a teenager. Cheerleader, year book, all that sort of shit. Didn’t pay much attention in class. One of those girls who spend more time on her makeup than algebra. And she was good lucking. God, I thought she was a goddess. What a set of legs. I don’t know what happened to them. Cellulite. It plagued her. Why don’t men get cellulite, she complained. Like everything was a conspiracy to make women’s lives more difficult, that men got off scot-free. After the kids came along Edna cut her hair. Used to have this long blond hair that fell down over the small of her back. But once her procreation duties were successfully completed she graduated into the pragmatic homemaker. She got wider. Her shoulders got larger. How does that happen? I read someplace where old married couples start to look alike.”

Sam looked at me and grinned.

“What?” I laughed.

“I think you’re underestimating Edna. She’ll bounce back.”

I shook my head. “Edna isn’t like Margaret. I’ve always taken care of everything. She can run up a charge card but she’s never paid a bill. The kids tell me that the house is a mess. She was always a lousy housekeeper.”

Sam looked over at me. “How did you stay together for so long?”

I grinned. “The sex was always terrific. Until the last couple of years. I think Edna is tired of life. Sometimes I look at her and she has that sadness little girls sometimes have. She looks scared and angry. And I’m to blame.”

Sam looked at me skeptically.

“I’m serious, Sam. I’m to blame for everything.”

***

“Will you get away from that window,” Michael cried.

David turned from the window and looked at his brother who was sitting on the bed cleaning his gun.

“Those cops are still there, brother. Their fucking car is practically buried in snow and still they sit there. What do they think? That we’re going to rob a bank or something on a night like this? You couldn’t pay me enough to be a cop. That’s the third time you’ve cleaned that thing tonight.”

“It passes the time. Helps me relax. Allows me to think. You should find something to occupy your mind.”

“Well, I threw away our dope,” David said angrily. “The fucking TV doesn’t work. God, this waiting is driving me nuts.”

“Get some sleep.”

“Ya, like I’m going to sleep with those assholes sitting out there. I need a broad.”

Michael laughed.

“Go ahead and laugh, brother. I’ve got a high sex drive. Not like you. How long has it been Michael. A week? Six months?”

Michael looked up from his gun. “Go jerk off in the can.”

“You got some magazines?”

Michael shook his head. “Use your imagination.”

“Very funny,” David responded. “You know that I don’t have any imagination. Did you see that broad in the club, the strawberry blonde?”

“They were all blondes.”

“That Brittany chick. Nice back porch. She used to be George’s girl. Remember George Maybe. Big ugly fellow. Used to be the bouncer at the Diamond. George once told me that Brittany fucked like a rabbit.”

“George was a psychopath, David. Now a dead psychopath.”

“What the hell does that mean, psychopath?”

Michael looked up at his brother and smiled. “Like you.”

“Very funny, Michael. If you weren’t my brother…”

Michael put the last pieces of his gun together. “After we find this fellow, Lombardo, we’re going to deal with Mazudo.”

“A party, brother?”

Michael smiled. “We’re going to teach that little slime ball a few dance steps.”

The smile on David’s face disappeared. “But first we’ve got to find Lombardo. Before I get too bored.”

Michael put his gun back into his bag. “We’re getting out of this hole.”

“But the cops…”

“Fuck them.”

David laughed. “Now you’re talking brother.”