The Universe Eats Away at the Face of the Actress Julia Joops

Einstein was wrong. We do not live in a space/time continuum. Our bodies live in space. We live in time. All life lives in time. When our bodies cease to function they change their appearance. We do not change our appearance. We disappear. Our time ends.

The Political Commentator: Sandra L. Blanche

The woman I based this piece on is an intelligent, engaging, and good natured sort. She is on public television quite a lot and I quite enjoy her insights into the events of the day. Sounds like I’m apologizing.

The Irrepressible Travel Agent

This is my definition of God.

The Great Canadian Poet Eminating

It has seemed to me over the years that becoming a successful artist in Canada is like applying for a position in the civil service. Art grants are a gauntlet of ass kissing. And then there are the teaching positions available in our academic institutions. More ass kissing. When I was a student at the University of Windsor, Morley Callaghan was teaching a creative writing class. He asked everyone in the class who was interested in learning to become a writer to put up their hands. Then he suggested that they drop the course, and go out into the real world and listen.

Julia Joops in Psycho

Why do we want to be scared? Out of our minds? Why do people laugh when someone sneaks up behind someone and screams ‘BOO!’ It feels prehistoric. Like we tap into some awful terror that stalks us from our ancestral past. Would it work on an alien? I think I’d like to try on Prime Minister Harper. I’ll bet he doesn’t flinch.

I saw her laugh

Many years ago. A tall awkward looking girl staggered through the campus with her two friends. They were drunk. She saw me and gave me a kiss. Asked me to call her the next day. And not to forget her. I did not call her. But I never forgot her.

And The Meaning Of The Word Was Lost On The Fire

We need a God. All the great works of art. War – the conquest of one group over another. The sacrifices.  The accumulation of wealth. Valor. Honour. The pledges of love. The waste. Time lost. For everything. If our civilization disappears. As it will. Like so many before it. And everything returns to dust.  We need to feel that someone noticed we were here.

The Threesome with Blair Talbot

I had this notion that a couple could have a threesome if one of them was bi-polar.

Pleased as punch, Sammy the Mooch

We had a guy in college called Sammy the Mooch. He was always stealing other guys’ food from the refrigerator. No matter that it was labelled with your name, Sammy would steal it. Weird Harold, a chemistry student, got tired of seeing his food disappear so he spiked his coke. And he put a big sign on it warning that no one should take it. Sammy couldn’t help himself. He drank half the bottle. The spiked coke made Sammy’s urine turn purple. We convinced him that he had gonorrhea.

Down on the farm under the apple tree

My grandfather had a farm on Prince Edward Island. It lay in the folds of a small valley. (There are no hills on the island.) There were four girls in my mother’s family with similar laughs. Their laughter was contagious. When one would laugh the other three would join in. Their laughter echoed throughout the vale. It was like music.