Hollis McLaren

November 8, 2011

There was a debate going on in my head. Was I smart or stupid? I applied to graduate school in philosophy. My undergrad marks weren’t good. Except for philosophy. They interviewed me. I separated from my girlfriend at the time and headed off to higher learning. I had to take a course in logic. One which I was not equipped for. Neither was the prof who taught the course. Nor were the students in the class. We all clearly over our heads. And that’s what saved me.

I met Hollis McLaren that year. What a beatiful young woman. She would soon become a famous Canadian actress starring in Atlantic City with Burt Lancaster and Susan Saradon and in another film Outrageous. I didn’t much like either film. But Hollis was terrific.



Part 5

Steam rose from the coffee forming clouds around my eyes. I remember this picture from the moon where there were no clouds. The astronauts never seemed surprised. It was as if they had something to do with it.

I’ve decided to free my dreams from sleep and imprison them in time.

She always wakes up so cheerful. Depresses me. Its bad manners to smile before noon. Ask anyone born in Mississauga. She always picks up after me. Enrages me so i can hardly breath. Let me leave something to posterity even if its only a messy room.

When we make love she apologizes afterwards. It makes me want to crawl into my mouth. I think its all part of some clever plan. She accuses me of lusting after every woman i see. I tried to reassure her regarding my feelings toward her. No, she responded. You’re not interested in my soul. You’re just in love with the uniform.

Honeymoon in Niagara Falls. It was the time they stopped the water from going over the falls. Repairs. We were kept awake all night by the roar that wasn’t there.

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