Around my neck

January 7, 2012


I thought he was going to go for the girl’s throat. And he just had quads. Bi-pass. She said the wrong thing. He wanted to buy 2 tickets to see “The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo”. And she responded. “No problem”. I had to pull him off her. I wanted to strangle her myself. (Old men fighting in a cinema lounge is very unbecoming.) It’s one those expressions that people can’t seem to help saying. Like that phase when everyone said ‘not’ after a declarative sentence. (Why do I remember the word declarative?) “No problem!” Like we were asking her for a favor. And she had nothing better to do. Like if she was thirsty she might not sell us a ticket. Or if the stock market was in back shape that hour, she might have a problem. I told my wife about the incident. And then I said ‘ya know, back in the day…” I could hardly get the words ‘back in the day’ out of my mouth when she had her hands around my neck.

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2 Responses to “Around my neck”

  1. Hilarious! I dislike this phrase too, and, after years of shuddering when I heard it, feel relieved to know I’m not the only one. Evidently there’s a wonderful new book, “Would It Kill You to Stop Doing That”, by Henry Alford, which offers quite a lament for the loss of civility in public life…maybe we should both read it!

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