Ask the Pope.
August 6, 2012
Mitt Romney has made a mitfull of mistakes on his tour of Europe and the middle-east. Media centres in the U.S. are debating whether this should disqualify him from being President. But American ignorance of anything outside their own borders is legendary. In Windsor, Ontario across from Detroit there is the story of Americans crossing the border in the middle of August with skis on the roofs of their car. Or mid-westerners bragging about the size of the Mississippi the first time they reach a river in France. If you disqualified people for the office of President because they were ignorant, you’d disqualify most of the public.
Why you should vote for Mitt.
1. He has good hair. No one whose bald every gets elected for President.
2. He’s got big teeth. And they are white. Everyone who is elected for President must be able to pass the toothpaste commercial test.
3. He can say Massachusetts. Which means he’s not an alcoholic.
4. If he would grow a moustache, he’d have the gay vote.
5. He’s better looking than his wife. Every president after Lincoln has been better looking than his wife.
I know you expect 10 reasons in this list. But there are only five. Any more would be a waste of resources.